Doug Stanhope — It's A Party, Not Daycare, Asshole lyrics

Lyrics

Have you ever considered Registering as a sex offender Just so you have a legitimate excuse for
why your friends can’t bring their stupid children over to your house? That’s all it would take.
That’s all it would take. I never thought–oh wait, that’s So easy. I’d just put myself on a web Site
somewhere. And then your friend calls up, “yeah, you’re having a Monday Night football party,
shit, Yeah, I wanna come. I got custody this week though. You don’t mind if I bring jimmy Junior
and the baby, do you?” You go, “oh, yeah, Jim, I’d love to see the kids. You know they’re a
treasure at Every party, but, uh, I had an Incident years back, and now I’m on a watchdog site, so
why don’t you just leave those kids locked In a hot car and you bring beer Like anyone else
would do at a party?” Who thinks that’s okay? “plus I’m a huge saints fan, and I might fuck the
shit out of your kids if they’re ahead at Half-time because I’m real superstitious, so, yeah, you
bring cold beer like anyone else Would do.”