The Deadfly Ensemble — Revenge On the Nursemaid lyrics

Lyrics

My nursemaid once gave me a kiss and a farthing
Two pence would have made sense; this was alarming
I was a good boy! I never got sick!
So this slice of a penny induced a coin trick
I traded my farthing for an old metal soldier
Which I sold to my brother, a collector, much older
He gave me a penny which then begat three
When I found for the soldier some staunch company
My threepenny bit soon turned to a tanner
When I resold some fruit; some plums and bananas
A half-shilling's worth of shoe polish came next
And two bob from the bank men left my pockets perplexed
With florin in hand I set up a stand
And sold Penny Dreadfuls at second hand
Inside of a week I’d made half a crown
And my story appraisals had earned some renown
For one sovereign, one guinea, I sold off my stock
And found my revenge when the nursemaid was shopping;
She cried at the till, «All I need is two pence!»
Said I, «All I’ve got is ten pound, four and six.»