Brian Regan — You Too & Stuff lyrics

Lyrics

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, Brian Regan!: Cheering:
Brian: Alright, How ya doin' folks?: Feedback:
It’s like you’re al sittin' there, «Hey pal, you got some jokes?»: Laughing:
«Why don’t you start crankin' 'em out, circus boy?: Laughing:
It’s good to be here
Just tryin' to go through life without looking stupid…: Laughing:
It’s not workin' out too well…: Laughing:
Sometimes you’ll say the wrong thing at the right time and feel stupid
Somethin' like, «You tow!»: Laughing:
I was gettin' out of a cab at the airport and the ddriver goes, «Hey have a nice flight!»
«You tow!»: Laughing:
«You too, you have a nice flight too, in case you ever fly someday.»: Laughing:
«Don't even look at me, I’m a moron.»: Laughing:
Don’t know when to say the «You too» phrase.: Laughing:
Can’t handle it.: Laughing:
I never learn, you know. A waitress will bring my meal. «Hey, enjoy your meal.»
«You tow!»: Laughing:
«But you don’t have one, do ya? I’m a dufus!»: Laughing:
«If you do eat, enjoy it when you eat it if you have a break or something,
later!»: Laughing:
«If you get an opportunity, that’s all I’m tryin' to say!»: Laughing:
«That's all that I’m drivin' at, really! If you think about it…»: laughing:
«…That's all.»: Laugihng:
You ever start to say somethin' and in the middle of what you’re sayin' you
decide to say somethin' else, completely?: Laughing:
You know, there’s already words out there.: Laughing:
These friends were leaving the other day and I started to say, «Hey, take care!
«And I decided to say «Good luck!» Instead like halfway through, you know.
: Laughing:
So it came out neither, «See you later, Brian!»
«Take… luck!»: Laughing:
«Take luck and care… take… care of the luck. Good luck take care of the…
the luck that you might have.»: Laughing:
«If you have luck, take it, care for it. Take luck care of it…
when you take luck care of…»: Brian shouting gibberish: Laughing:
Be sure you’re seein' them again…: Laughing:
«So how do you know that guy back ther, huh?»: Laughing:
I’m always puttin' my foot in my mouth
I don’t stop to think, you know, «Oh no, words are coming out! Oh no!
«: Laughing:
«I'm not thinkin' of what I said!»: Laughing:
Like I met this woman recently, I could’ve sworn she was pregnant.
Let me tell ya.: Crowd «Aw"s:
I know now…: Laughing:
I think the rule is, «Don't guess at that, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever,
ever, ever…»: Laughing:
Somethin' like that. When you have enough «evers» memorized, you know?
So I say, «Hey, when’s that BA-by due?!»
You ever feel a word coming out but it’s to late to stop it?: Laughing:
It’s… it’s comin' out and loud, «Oh hey when’s that BA-by due?! BABY?!
«: Laughing:
«What baby?»: Weird Authentic Brian Regan Sounds: Laughing:
«At the zoo! That… the pandas!»: Laughing:
«The neigbors are tryin' to have one, you know. Thought we’d talk about.
Talk about the… fluffy zoo animals. I hear they get them over there, you can.
. you know, look at 'em…»: Laughing:
«If you want… touch 'em…»: Laughing:
Have you ever guessed somebody’s gender wrong? 'Cause no recoverin' from that!
«: Laughing:
You just gotta move on 'cause you ain’t wrigglin' outta nothin', ya know?
: Laughing:
«Hey uh, excuse me sir?»
«Ma'am!»
«Ok!»: Laughing:
«Ok, bye! Bye human!»: Laughing:
«Bye, person!
Nice to mmet you, individual!»: Laughing:
I can’t remeber names…
And I’m always tryin' to do the nickname thing to get out of it,
everybody knows what you’re tryin' to pull, you know?
«Hey… Buckaroo…»: Laughing:
«My name’s not Buckaroo.»
«Sure, sure it is, Pardner…»: Laughing:
Some people get really upset if you get their names wrong
Especially is they have a name that’s similar to another name
Carolin and Caroline
They got a thing about that, man
Don’t get that wrong, 'cause they’re gonna drill ya!: Laughing:
«Hey Carol… in?»
«It's CaroLINE. It’s CaroLINE Brian…»: Laughing:
«It's BriON!»: Laughing:
«Yes, my name is BRION! It’s very hard to say my name correctly!»: Laughing:
«Cause my name is BRIONNGA!»: Laughing:
Can you say that? Very few can…
Correctly.: Laughing:
END